!!better!!: Atrocious Empress

The Atrocious Empress ruled not with an iron fist, but with a silk glove lined with needles. Her name was Seraphine the Vexed, and she ascended the Chrysanthemum Throne at seventeen, having poisoned her three elder siblings with a dessert wine so sweet that each had smiled as they died.

She returned to her palace, climbed to the highest tower, and looked out at her gray, silent, blue-less, laughter-less kingdom. The clockwork nightingale clicked its tinny note. atrocious empress

She taxed laughter. A copper coin per chuckle, a silver for a guffaw, and a full gold piece if you made someone else snort. Her tax collectors carried calibrated chuckle-meters and fined marketplaces into stunned silence. Within a month, the empire’s soundscape became a library of whispers. The Atrocious Empress ruled not with an iron

One winter, after she had executed a juggler for juggling (the act implied joy, which fell under the laughter tax’s umbrella of “unseemly levity”), Seraphine sat alone in her bone-white palace and realized she had won. There was no rebellion. No whispered plots. Her people moved like cattle through her laws, eyes down, mouths shut, hearts shriveled to raisins. The clockwork nightingale clicked its tinny note