“We interrupt our regular programming for a very special, unplanned bulletin,” Priya said, a nervous smile on her face. “This is for Margaret Penhaligon, of 12 Primrose Lane, in Cornwall.”

“Here,” his voice purred, “we see a rare and magnificent creature: the Octogenarian Briton. Note her resilience. She has survived boiled cabbage, three-day power cuts, and the invention of the self-checkout machine. A truly remarkable specimen. Happy birthday, Margaret.”

“Margaret,” Priya continued, “your son, David, couldn’t get the video call to work. So, he did something slightly mad. He called us.”

“Mum,” he laughed. “It was worth it. Happy birthday.”

“David,” she said, her voice steady as a broadcast. “Did you really bribe a cameraman with gummy kangaroos?”