Heart [2021]: Dadcrush Hazel

“Listen to this,” he said, and began to play a simple, clumsy melody. It wasn’t perfect. It was raw, earnest, and it filled the room with a kind of honest music I’d never heard before.

I sat on the floor, legs crossed, the hazel hue of my heart expanding with each note. In that moment, I understood something I hadn’t before: my crush on him wasn’t about the way he looked or the jokes he told. It was about the courage he showed when he stepped into the unknown, the way his heart—my hazel heart—mirrored his own, beating in sync with a rhythm that was both fragile and fierce. dadcrush hazel heart

Now, as an adult with a family of my own, I stand in my kitchen, apron tied, a wooden spoon in my hand, and I think of my dad’s laughter echoing against the linoleum, of the way his hazel‑colored heart taught me to see the world not as a place to fix, but as a place to love. When my own child asks why the sky is pink at sunset, I smile, because I know the answer lives in the quiet moments between notes, in the unspoken admiration we pass down like a treasured song. “Listen to this,” he said, and began to

I smiled, my chest swelling with a love that was both childlike and mature. I realized then that the word “crush” was too small a vessel for what I felt. It was admiration, it was reverence, it was a yearning to share in his wonder, to be close enough to taste the same sunrise he chased in his mind each morning. I sat on the floor, legs crossed, the

We spent that evening in a cramped, dimly lit corner of the house, the guitar resting on my dad’s knee. He clumsily pressed his fingers against the strings, producing a sound that wobbled between a squeak and a sigh. I could see the frustration flicker across his face, but then he laughed—a deep, resonant sound that seemed to shake the very walls.

And every time I hear my dad’s guitar, a little hazel light flickers in my chest—a reminder that the deepest crush I ever felt was not a fleeting infatuation but a lifelong reverence for the man whose heart taught mine to beat in a richer, fuller rhythm.

When I was ten, the world seemed to fit inside the tiny kitchen of our house. The linoleum floor was a stage, the humming refrigerator a metronome, and my dad—my dad—was the conductor. He wore his aprons like a second skin, the sleeves always rolled up to reveal forearms that were a little rough at the elbows, the color of well‑worn leather. In the evenings, after work, he would stand at the stove, a wooden spoon in one hand, a notebook in the other, and the scent of garlic and rosemary would spill into the hallway like a secret invitation.