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Flickering LED lights. A dented flying saucer cockpit is jury‑rigged to a dusty treadmill.

On Earth, bad attention is still attention. I’ve recalculated. We pivot to cringe comedy.

ZORP (green, four‑armed, wearing a sequined blazer) adjusts a selfie stick. etvshow

(off‑camera, holding a phone) We went viral on HumanTok. Two million views. Someone called us “the worst thing since crop‑dusting.”

So, Mr. Nuts, what’s the real scoop on bird politics? Flickering LED lights

Mother knows I’m a visionary!

Uh… I’m the delivery girl. But also — what the hell? etvshow

We can’t pay her.

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