(dressed as the Headless Horseman, except he put the pumpkin on the wrong shoulder and keeps bumping into doorframes): "Mitchell, the theme is Broadway Bloodbath . If the neighbors aren't weeping from the choreography of my 'Thriller' parody, we have failed as gay dads."
(dressed as a QR code that actually links to a Rickroll): "Dad, the neighbor kids are crying. I think the fog machine gave one of them asthma." modern family halloween
(emerging from the shadows in a velvet cape and a beret, holding a glass of apple cider): "I am not a werewolf or a zombie. I am a tortured poet who died of ennui in 1847 . If you listen closely, you can hear the ghost of my unrequited love for a girl in my AP History class." (dressed as the Headless Horseman, except he put
Everyone groans. The flaming pumpkin finally sets off the smoke alarm. Lily serves the subpoena. Fade to black on a title card: I am a tortured poet who died of ennui in 1847
(stone-faced, dressed as a tiny, terrifying lawyer): "Because the neighbor’s dog bit my candy bucket last year. I’m serving him papers."