The form was a test of will. Describe the issue. "Liquid damage. Will not power on." Was the damage caused by misuse, neglect, or an act of God? I paused. Was celebrating an act of God? I selected "Accidental Damage."
I didn't send the affidavit. Instead, I called the support number. After 47 minutes of hold music—a tinny, looping version of a song I now hate—a human named "Kevin" answered. my asus warranty
I hung up. I sat in the dark, the corpse of my ASUS Zephyrus glowing faintly under the light of my monitor. The warranty card sat beside it. It wasn't a promise. It was a maze. A beautiful, labyrinthine, legally-binding maze designed to protect the Minotaur, not the hero. The form was a test of will
A wave of relief. I clicked "Submit Repair Request." Will not power on